i want two things in life...emily to stop talking and a block of cheese.
He like poked it twice with the tip of his tongue then left it alone. I'm sad.
Well its official I'm an idiot. I made out hardcore with an employee last night in our banquet room. Oh and got wasted at work. Oh and showed my staff squirrel on a trampoline.
Word to the wise: learn how to ask "What is my bail posted as" in French before traveling abroad.
Single handedly the worst sex I've ever had just went down. Its like we both laid there after word-less thinking about the other " could they be any worse in bed" ?
the only sentence i could make out from her was "i will wash these herpes away"
Her legal name is Candy. Her being a whore is implied.
I told the bartender that he could give me back the tip I gave him if he outsmarted me in a battle of wits. He has yet to challenge me.
she did 8 shots of vodka. THROUGH A SIPPY STRAW
I have got to meet this girl.
I've started budgeting for next year. It looks like I'll be crying tears of dollar bills and handing them over to pay back my unholy college debt.
He can't just hit it and quit it and then eat your pop tarts on his way out.
I think one of your friend's offered my friend chicken tenders back at his place...just FYI he should probably come up w/ another line
Don't do shots out of Tostitos scoops.
how much boxed wine can one drink before work in a couple of hours?
Some nights you do cocaine till 5:00 in the morning, and the next night you teach yourself how to crochet. It’s called balance.
Randomize
