We decided to smoke and then made crosses on our foreheads for ash wednesday
mom would be proud
If it makes you feel better, I doubt anything could survive in your uterus.
I won the karaoke contest at the bar last night, when they called my name i was doing blow off the toilet seat, i thought they caught me, i didnt even know there wasa contest
he made me have a moment of silence for the half of my ice cream cone i threw away.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
you should be back in the room by now but just so you know. you passed out at the black jack table and they wheel chaired you out. strip club in about 45 minutes. game face bro.
Finished sriting an apology letter to my liver 2 weeks before st. Patricks game on
She just texted me that she's horny, then started quoted random music, then telling me everything she regrets. I don't think there's enough tequila in the world for me to deal with her...
Forgot my sound was off and didnt even realize it until halfway through because I thought I could hear it. I think high me just narrated half a clip of adventure time
Is it just me or does the sex still keep getting better? I wasn't crying, my eyes just watered from how hard I was cumming.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I think there's a problem with society when I'm shopping for lingerie and I think "man some of these would make kickass shirts"
Rigtt?!
This is even better than the wine from my laundry basket
I'm eating cheesecake with my hands completely naked while falling asleep
Girl you know I'm an advocate of debauchery but you might wanna check yoself.
Im not sure if the cops that just came are strippers or actually cops
Valentine's Day is now to be known as Tacos and Orgasms Day.
Randomize