3 deer just ran past us on the street. At least I get to see some tail tonight
We planned for the zombie apocalypse. In great detail. Of course there was booze involved.
SANTA'S REAL. I GOT MY PERIOD.
Thats not how it works. You get the Rachel, and then Rachel kicks you out. Don't linger or try to cuddle, its just pathetic and makes me look down on you and your penis
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
If taco bell and midol can't fix her, she's in gods hands now.
Bro, the freshmen are smoking in the park again, do you need ammo for ur paintball gun?
You are so lucky you didn't go back to Tate's house. They decided to figure out who had the biggest balls... I was the judge
New drink: empty coke can vodka water maple syrup. Get on my level
Got dumped. Now accepting nominations for my extra Dave Mathews ticket. No xboyfriends. Must cast final votes by Monday. Good luck everyone
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm going to fake an anxiety attack to get to the front of the line. Save me some brisket.
I fucked in the bathroom while everyone listened and banged my dick against a table shouting "order in the court"
Closed my eyes in the shower and got really dizzy. Not sure if neurological or result of 4 day vodka binge. Send help.
Seriously dude...who threw up on Michelle? She's been crying for like an hour
We will let tequila do the talkin this weekend
Every time I download Tinder again, I hate myself a little more.
Randomize