But i just feel like he will pull it out and ill panic. I mean its fairly basic. Up and down. But i feel like ill just freak out.
i just masturbated with purell and my dick burns and smells like a hospital
one of my coworkers is shitshow drunk, getting naked. she's about to ride the bull.
i was just going to ask if it would be cool for me to come and have a beer...
it's total chaos here. i may ride the bull... i'll be visible.
Just realized the fur coat I am wearing to the wedding is the one I had sex with the groom in
I'm skipping the 'hey, how are you, I have to pick up something pointless at your apartment' excuse and just telling you I'm coming over to fuck.
mid blow job she looked up and said "we aren't even facebook friends!"
Ummm so does anybody remember me stopping to get my ear peirced last night and make an earring out of a staple? Or did I just somehow lay on this thing and ram it through my ear?
We shaved off his eyebrows I'm pretty sure his fiance will be thrilled at the wedding
Just got blown whilst wearing a glow in the dark superman t shirt. Your night will never be as good as mine.
its like my brain is a tree and you are those little cookie elves
I just wrote a love letter to my weed and texted it to my cousin. I can't say it any differently. It happened.
That was awkward , having sex with her while her husband watched via Skype. I'm a porn star or a target. Idk
I've really become a household name at this fraternity. Mother would be so proud.
My dad called me in the middle of the night, drunk on vodka, asking for references on the Irish alphabet.
I walked into your room and you were wearing party beads, a foam finger, and reading the dictionary. Good night?
Randomize
