I just barfed on his mom.
You told him you were too drunk to meet his parents. Totally his fault.
I wish I had my old roomstes number so I could send him pictures from lastnight... I had a blast banging his "true love" now that I think about it we're even don't worry about that gas bill you didn't pay. Ur girl worked it off!
arkansas has a gas station called kum and go....story of my life
If there's ever a time when I've matured to the point that I don't want to look at camera-phone-titties, go ahead and bury me in a shallow grave by the railroad tracks.
I had fun this weekend too. According to Web MD, my symptoms say I had a miscarriage.
I don't even know. I woke up in the bathtub with no shirt, covered in towels holding what appeared to be vanillia pudding mixed with captain morgan.
On a lighter note, my mom and I were playing scattergories, and for "things that you keep hidden" we both put dildo. Proof that we really are related.
he had me stop mid-blow job to make me use my phone to id a song on the radio..
i wasnt really sure how to responde to that.
No more morning sex. Just for once, my vagina would like to go to work bone-dry and bone-free.
Thank you <3 he just looked at me, fist bumped me, and asked me what was on my titty....we may cut her off
I think I'd be more bothered by his cross dressing if I wasn't secretly into women..,
I'm drinking and making muffins and I believe this is why God put us on earth.
Was asked out on a date tonight on Linked In. That creepy genius at apple that touched my butt one time in the back stairwell. I thinks it's fair to say I've hit rock bottom.
I woke up naked and you weren't here. What a relief.
One can only be this extremely wet once a year and I feel like I'm bitch slapping god by not using this gift he has bestowed on me.
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