she has a tiny mouth but huuuge vocal chords
Why did you send me a picture of a dick?
It was an accident sry. Not mine tho.
Just went to my life planning class. The professor has a braid going halfway down his back and an earring.
Hurry up. We're trading phones to prevent drunk texting.
Only you could manage to look like a complete slut while wearing a turtle neck.
so i gave him head in the movie theater last night. thought we were alone til I heard the clapping from the other side of the theater after he'd finished.
at first i was worried but she assured me her frail vegan body would have no chance at conception.
I searched the house and found a small bottle of sherry which is probably as old as I am, has prob gone off and tastes like shit. I don't care any more. It has come to this.
He came for an unexpected visit and let's just say I shattered his illusion that girls don't watch porn
I'm sitting on the toilet eating a Chick-Fil-A breakfast sandwich. How's your Monday?
You literally chaperoned my booty call.
Nothing says "single girl" quite like Pinot Grigio and canned ravioli at 11:30 pm....
it's 1:30pm and i'm eating cheese while i sext. i need hobbies
It's your last night of vacation right? Be the Oprah of dick. And you get a dick... and you get a dick, and you get a dick!!!
How drunk was I last night?
You tried to unlock a door with your dick. That drunk.
Not the explanation for the cock bruise that I was looking for.
Randomize
