It was like if Side-show Bob had a vagina for a mouth
I would really like to get high with Bill Nye. I'm being dead serious. Every step I take is literally a step I take because it will take me closer to Science Guy high.
We could get him to build Inspector Gadget.
I didn't know you were high TOOOO!!!
do you remember wearing her cheetah rainboots and making bacon shirtless?
is it really high of me to have brought my own hot sauce to wendys?
Her boobs more than make up for all the flaws with her personality.
my hippie aunt just sent me some brownies with a note saying not to eat them under any circumstances until finals are over. excited.
Look I know it's late and I hope this doesn't wake you up but I feel like you should know that I'm sleeping on my couch in my own apartment so that my friend can get laid in my bed, and I would do the same for you.
I should also mention that having been a sheltered child, I am conditioned to have serious kinks and find upper bodies of either sex attractive. And legs.
Seriously just confirmed via our bathroom scale that a keg weighs 170lbs
I have a surprise for you
Is it drugs? I want drugs. Or a puppy!
Flacco has been sacked like 7 times. His name also auto corrects to Flaccid. That's so sad
It is a fiery spray of napalm-covered beautiful words that leave a flaming "fuck you" on the ground after I destroy him.
Found an elderly homeless guy with a Gandalf beard passed out on my porch. I put a Santa hat over his erect dick cause he was naked.
3 weeks in a row I've pulled '69' at the deli counter...God is giving me shit for not getting laid in a year....
I informed him that we had less than 5 minutes left to live, and his first words were "I'm trying to think of a good They Might Be Giants quip"
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