I don't understand how he can't hear himself snoring, but he'll wake up to me sneaking m&m's from my junk food stash beside the bed...
The football player sitting in front of me just googled himself. Only 4 articles came up. That's why he plays at Utah State.
dude ... she has a full length mirror in her shower, don't even tell me shes not dtf
Just did free shots of tequila at a walmart. Hello Mexico
its a sex-hate relationship...no love involved
Are you seriously gonna shit with that life vest on?
I hope so. I just start to question my lifestyle when i pee on coffee tables
he ruins everything I try to do including his roommates
Well I consider my vagina a dear friend. She treats me good I treat her good. We work together. Glad we could be of service.
he suggested we do it doggy style cuz it was his dead dogs birthday...i had to do it
The sad thing was my husband told her its ok to make out with me. Bar Tuesdays will live on regardless.
I'm ready to sell my soul to the strip club tonight
It's not even 6 am and I've already told my mom to fuck herself in the face
Please don't explain what tea bagging is to my mother.
i just wanted have a romantic star gaze moment with him. untill he let out a massive fart.
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