you dont know how to answer ppls txts anymore?!?
im sorry, i don't get text messages.
Tell her she can't have a vagina
alright got my week's quota of sex in, ready for modern warfare 2
I found my old addy guy via fb who clearly understands the supply and demand curve of addy during finals so he's gonna hook me up.
we went to sleep in different beds and woke up spooning. alcohol truly is the anti-cockblocker.
He gave Paula abdoul a run for her crazy
Gonna post on craigs list missed connections - "I was that really drunk bitch that threw up in your car. I'd like to pay for detailing"
She had one unshaved part on her vagina that she called "the soul patch" I just didn't know what to think
They're either celebrating their tax money or trying to kill each other.
We work out, have really intense sex, and then eat cereal marketed for children. We have a system, okay?
I think the only option is to smoke so much weed I just pass out for 3 days.
He sent me a dick pic. I am fighting the urge to send him a "sorry for your loss" card.
Yesterday I went home with one shoe, today I go home with three. Fucking win.
It's a shame, really, because he's got the cock of a horse... And the personality of dry toast.
We stood outside the room listening to them have sex and making meow noises
That's not right, is it?
Randomize
