I have a very awkward question for you. Could you possibly take my black dildo. My mom wants to clean my room.
Seriously, stop peeing all over the toilet seat. It looks like movie theatre butter.
I was the one passing out cake at the bars
found glitter on my cock. thank you for bringing me to that dance recital.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
New rule : you aren't allowed anything . Ever .
I'm sports announcer narrating myself making a sandwich. Your weed wins.
She's a freaking stalker dude, it's like having some kind of cartoon animal just following around everywhere
God, you're amazing. I just want to hang out with you in the nude and watch Monty Python movies whilst we quip about how comedians just aren't as funny anymore.
Credit for originality. Points off for a mild to moderate creepy factor.
This may have to wait till tomorrow. I smoked so my back wouldn't hurt and I overshot relaxed by like 4 hits casually
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
On the food pyramid big dick are "sometimes foods"
He also has scotch. LOTS AND LOTS of scotch. I think you'd like him!
That is always a wonderful personality trait!
I'm prostituting myself for tickets to Disney World. There's a contradiction there.
We should probably start extreme couponing for the morning after pill.
The last time I went out with these guys I won an iced tea maker from a drag queen.
Oh god he’s a clown I fucked a rodeo clown
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