You did that once after drunk driving from a photo shoot
That was very cool/italian of you
Which brings me to my next point, how come italians are so well adapted to drunk driving
Well, emily woke up in Hoboken, cati woke up in jersey city, and i woke up in brooklyn....and our hotel room we rented in the city remained empty. Best birthday yet.
He says he quit drinking. I'd like to have a moment of silence for losing the best drunken hookup ever. We will build a memorial to his awesome cock.
Who just wakes up in their own bed and assumes "I probably blew some guy last night"
In preparation for st patty's day I finally had a shamrock shake, and I invested in an app that will apparently keep me from drunkenly texting you pictures of my tits this weekend. Please let me know if you want to not be put on the "forbidden" list!
Do you ever feel like a plastic bag?!
I was about to attempt a citizen's arrest on my RA
Apparently "I have the beer shits" isn't the excuse my boss wanted to hear. So sue me
I should rephrase... I'm trying to not sit on other peoples faces besides my boyfriends.
Just took adderall with about half a bottle of red wine...i have stopped trying for this last exam
Well, I was asked to leave the Waffle House for "being to physical" so I think that option is off the table
My chance to home wreck was right in front of me and I didn’t grab it by the balls
I went to my AA meeting last night. My drug dealer is now my counselor.
college girl with braces trying to flirt with you...time to go
HIDE THE INFLATABLE PENIS
Randomize
