But, the reference to being horny and then blending a banana is troubling
Alli causes anal leakage. You can find someone to like you if you are fat but no one will like you if you poop yourself.
found a new level of pathetic. i watched a guy pick out cigarette butts from a jar that weren't completely finished. make sure you go somewhere in life.
her facebook's as public as her vagina
just used my sex toy cleaning solution to clean my reading glasses. midterms are cramping my styleeee
These pissing matches have to stop. They led to last night's scotch through the nose shots. I'll never smell again.
according to last night, I underestimated the size of my mouth and the possibilities of what can fit into it.
woke up in your bed at 6 AM. on my way home I passed Nathan, bloody, barefoot, and still in a toga. He told me he woke up in a ditch then kept repeating "I'm totally bringing this up at meeting tomorrow". I'm proud of your frat today
well he somehow got his hand stuck in some bike spokes trying to reach for a blunt he dropped and that's NOT the reason he's in the hospital...?
i have never been so sexually frustrated as I am right now. I feel like dying...is death an option?
apparently i came home last night raving about goats and singing songs from muppet treasure island
Funny you say that, I just sold my stripper pole to my mom tonight...
I'm like bob the builder except I'm fixing boners.
I didn't even know his name until he texted me the next day and told me I should take a plan B pill. Thanks Danny.
I think I just received the most dignified proposition of my life. From the father of the bride. Who'd have thought.
Randomize
