So drunk, too bad you don't want this
This just in: Jon Gosselin's address-The Alexandra. I bet if we showed up he'd date us.
the line runs infront of fredricks of hollywood. it's like gamestop is showing me how pathetic I am.
I woke up wearing just my underwear and a headlamp at a different house than I remember passing out at. I told you irish car bombs are not made with an entire guinness.
You were throwing ham at people telling them you were the sandwhich fairy
How was the party last night?
There's a mountain bike in the middle of our apartment. No one will claim it.
I woke up and he was starring at me and then said "do you believe in miracles"?
My apartment smells like a lavender field inside of a giant bong.
Drugs are gluten free tho, right?
I keeping finding meatballs in random places
I just drank beer out of an old Vicodin bottle hoping to catch some residue. That's how finals week is going
It bothers me when I see my old fuck buddies starting families on Facebook.
I just woke up in the closet wearing nothing but a Santa hat.
fuck st louis. fuck their hockey. fuck their basball. fuck their football if they still got it. fuck their tiddlywinks teamm. fuck their ribs. fuck their entire city. what im trying to say is i dont like st louis
His hair is as curly as mine. It was like watching me go down on myself.
Randomize
