i keep walking around campus wondering if anyone is as stoned as i am
Nah, lets use your guy, my drug dealer is going all pineapple express on me
I'm afraid my bank account can't handle syllabus week.
They were lying down in the parking garage pretending to be speed bumps...
We can't bring brittanys dog so we are getting high and getting in my bathtub I think it's pretty safe
I got home and laid by the toilet and then alexa laid in the bathtub and sang the preamble while kayla held my hair
I think I ruined his life by managing to get his initiation nickname for his frat to be "Whiskey Dick" but I still wish herpes on him and his fugly new girlfriend.
Just smoked pot with a guy who has apparently been living in the woods for over a month. He just walked out of the woods. This is not real life.
I have cobwebs on my vagina for halloween. And bats fly out when I open my legs.
People don't tend to fuck with you when they think you have someone else's blood on your face
I need vodka and champagne for my new favorite drink, vodkapagne. Alternative spellings are "vodkapain" and "vom-machine"
I mean your new thing is losing body parts and feeling colors so its not like we are hurting for entertainment
She was dressed as a banana and told me that I needed more potassium in my diet. Of course I went down on her.
I JUST SENT A TOILET SELFIE TO THE WRONG PERSON.
she said a prayer for the pipe you broke. she did the sign of the cross and everything
Randomize
