We have a vodka soaked ShamWow with your name on it.
I want you more than these girls want KFC
you kept screaming i cant feel my vagina, it kinda killed the mood.
I submitted an essay to my history teacher comparing changes in the middle ages to the song changes by David Bowie. I can't wait to see my grade on that.
i was about to rearrange the room but realized that this is the only efficient setup where we can have sex while the other one's asleep without them accidentally seeing.
it was such a weird mix, KFC and penis
Well its kinda hard to gift wrap an orgasm
Dick in a box?
The moment you ate chicken nuggets out of your purse you were my hero.
Where the hell did i get chicken nuggets from
She's just so happy...and so naked.
I walked into a McDonalds at 8:30 am with a half-eaten apple and a solo cup. Never felt so judged.
It's gameday bitch. Man up.
Soo I woke up in the storage room at best western....I dont even know what say
If you could watch a water balloon run... That's what it's like watching her run.
Did body shots with a guy... Ended up being the ref of my volleyball game... So that's why we won
Are we DOING anything for lunch...if sex is involved, let's just be straight forward and stop wasting the first half hour! We just need to get to the point
What the fuck dude? Now it's a "who is this?" convo going back and forth. Like... helllloooo you just sent me a picture of your penis! I'm entitled to ask who the fuck it is. I can't verify an identity by a body part.
Randomize
