dude, despite what happened last night, I'm not gay
I'm reading about reasons for wearing clothing. IS THIS COLLEGE OR PRESCHOOL?
you ever feel like there is a sober person insided you pointing and laughing....?
So my game is weak??
If your game is "Lets have sex, and maybe pizza" then yes.
thanks for singing to me while i puked last night
You stuck your head out the window to puke and got hit with a mailbox.
I had to convince you not to write "happy birthday to the first guy who fingered me" on his facebook wall, right above the post from his current girlfriend's mother.
I went commando last night, then accidentally flashed a police van...They acknowledged it.
I saw a picture of my dad holding my legs in a kegstand. Town festival=success.
Nothing like a false "my-dad-found-my-weed" alarm on Christmas day.
Some rando guy literally just put my shoes on and tied them for me because I'm drunk... Is this what it feels like to be a princess?
Sorry for all the snapchats, I wanted you to feel like u were in America getting plastered with me
Im at a south american orphan benefit auction drinking stoli in a coffee mug, this is what my life has become, thanks a lot community college
I'm not the type to go to a guys house...in your case his boat...and sleep with them..I mean I have in the past but I'm trying to be more serious and grown up
i just got carded for condoms. wtf.....this is new. isnt safe sex a good thing?
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