I wanna come home
And do what?
Kiss. Rip clothes off. Repeat.
dude that girl has seen more cock ends then weekends
I didn't join FB to see my only child straddle that boy in all her pictures.
u know whats better than using ur vibrator? using it w/ jeopardy on in the background and half moaning the correct final jeopardy question. yeah that just happened.
I'd call her a cunt, but she dooesn't seem to have the depth or warmth.
How are you feeling today?
i could've thrown up on command at any point today...
He called me while he was having sex and asked if I wanted to go get mcdonalds
She is ok w me having sex for money. Just gotta find rich grandmas.
I don't want to be with anyone who doesn't accept me for who I am. eating cheeseburgers in bed is my favorite activity.
I inadvertently smoked 6 blunts at one time. We just kept passing them around...I didn't know what happened until it was over. I can't walk.
I woke up this morning to my house being turned into a bad European dance club at 8:30am. Do you know what "UNS UNS UNS" sounds like at 8:30am? Murder. It sounds like murder.
SO HELP ME GOD THERE IS A SPIDER IN THIS PIZZA. IT IS VERY SMALL IT IS INSIDE THE CRUST AND IT IS ALIVE. I'M SO HUNGRY DO I KEEP EATING
Also, can next Friday be Long Underwear Friday instead of Jockstrap Friday? Because I'm about to cough up a testicle.
I'm going to target high, just in case I ask you where my paycheck went later
Even in drag you're still better looking than your sister.
Randomize
