I would dunk an oreo in her breast milk
Nothing kills the mood more than a jesus song.
he put listerine on his cock to make the taste more "enjoyable"... i think hes a keeper.
I'm just not sure how to initiate the "do you want to have sex with my boyfriend and I" conversation
God, i just love slightly insecure guys with hearts of gold and giant penises.
Please. Last time I saw him I awkwardly pulled his rat tail until it got too weird
When are you not under some influence?
Since last Tuesday...yesterday.
Maybe your new years resolution should be not to fuck in Sears bathroom anymore.
Second time this week margarita night turned homoerotic
I'm concerned that this blind man on the bus has a boner right now
Fighting the urge to throw up all over my little brothers jr high basketball bench. Welcome home aaron
I think I have to break up with him. I just cried, not moaned, screamed, etc, cried, with tears of sadness and disappointment when I came.
He stuck a cigarette in my butt last night. There is no coming back from that.
If I ever drink whiskey again make sure I don't eat the plastic cups that I'm drinking them from.
I just ran into my psychology professor at Planned Parenthood she asked why I was there and I asked why she was there and it turns out we both had a scare.#bonding because of abortion.
Randomize
