I'm pretty hammered, I'll elaborate tomorrow
all I remember was being half naked drinking water on my hands and knees from her dogs water bowl.
i feel like i'm a professional at blowjobs i can deep throat an entire spatula
After you took the handle off the bathroom door I had to coach the Scottish guy sitting on the toilet, throwing up in his own lap, how to put his pants back on. Yes, I think he won the drinking game.
do you think having her use a clorox disinfecting wipe on her vagina will keep me from getting her herpes if I don't have a condom?
i was super drunk. to the point where i was putting shredded cheese on a fork, putting hot sauce on it then dipping it in salsa. it was awesome.
Definately laid on the floor of the shower this morning drinking the water as it fell on me.
Any formal decision about whether we're planning to objectify naked women with daddy issues tonight?
I knew us throwing ourselves at him back in the day would pay off. I'm gonna b a divorcees rebound. Score!
I still have your make up all over the inside of my thighs from the face sitting. Free tonight?
for real. if he messaged me that i'd have made his penis cower in a corner.
Tonight we learned that just because we can fit a Tic Tac in the tip of my penis that does not mean we should.
I gave him a blowjob to kill bill. 2 of my favorite things.
Cookies and nudity, all you need in life
Tequila should only be paired with the finest of dick
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