rolled in at 7am w/ 2 girls i met at the strip club. my neighbor was getting up to mow the lawn before he took his kids to school. i'm 31. he's younger. if given the chance, you think he'd want to switch places?
I told him he can't put it there till we're exclusive. That's totally The Relationship Hole.
omg. why did you never tell me how amazing shitting and smoking is?
i thought this knowledge was automatically promulgated at the age of eighteen?
had a convo with my professor before class while peeing... new level of awkward or a breakthrough in our relationship? i feel like there is no longer a professional boundary.
I just got while a charlie horse while orgasming...most confusing feeling ever...
i officially have more pictures of his dick than pictures of us together
Ahhh November 1st. National Untagging Day
Desperately trying not to throw up over the side of the ferry back to CT. Can't be the first one of the season.
That's the last time you suggest we can get our tab wiped by out-drinking the bartender.
It was my card, so what do you care that you lost?
Is your card paying for my plan b?
Holy walk of shame. Fuck someone's house. I walked past a family eating their free continental breakfast wearing yesterday's makeup
You need to let him know my only agenda is coke and sadness.
Lucas & I had a photo shoot with her cape & I had child arm floaties on most the night.. woke up in a spiderman bed
WE SHOULD MAKE A WORKOUT ROUTINE CALLED BARCARDIO
I serenaded the cat in the hat for a few 90s songs but idk who he is
In all the years we have had drunk sex, have we ever done it in a bed?
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