Courtney? Is that you? I have pictures of this very same night.
and then I told her I was too drunk. She started to cry, and told me this always happens to her and that she thinks shes ugly. I pretended I was asleep and then she farted.
At first I felt shameful, waking up naked next to a box of oreos and half a can of cake frosting...then I realized, this could be a bigger discovery than Atlantis.
So you know that marine I slept with, well his girlfriend just told me I was pretty, I almost feel bad for sleeping with him now...
Dont! You were just serving you country
Graduating is kinda bittersweet. Now I'm gonna have to find another excuse to day-drink and sleep until 3pm besides "I'm in college."
The fish's death was accidental. We all said a few words at his funeral. Roomie wanted to play only the good die young as he swirled down the toilet bowl
We just took turns doing keg stands. 27 is way too old for this. Out of 5 of us, our best time was 9 seconds.
Don't laugh, but I might need some advice on how to ride a crooked dick.
I mean, I Just Had Sex in 4 on her top 25 most played list. That's got to give you some indication
I fell asleep with a half eating burrito in my hand and woke up to cat vomit with burrito in it.
Stay strong! Remember we're too uncoordinated to be strippers to make money instead of being a nurse
My weirdest encounter with a stranger though was when for some reason they just gave me a box of unopened socks. Needless to say, I never used them.
Sorry about the confusion with the nudes last night that was rude
Dude, Kevin called the cops on the cops.
Let's just say I peed the bed last night, and I wasn't in it alone. Whoooops
Randomize
