No she wasnt mad! I told her that I "mis-remembered" nailing her friend.
you are my new fav person for making him do the walk of shame in pink footie pajamas!
i thought to myself 'what a productive day'. then i realized all ive done is one load of laundry and shaved my balls.
don't blame me for your drunken lack of judgement
big words... still drunk. dont care. your fault.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He was carrying a rolled up carpet saying he was saving it for tomorrow's Walk of Fame.
Post-sex chicken soup was such a good idea. It's been like an hour and I'm still applauding myself
She actually pushed her roomie out of the way and said 'You already fucked him it's my turn!'
You rode him down the last flight of stairs like a human sled.
On that note I give you a 10 for sticking the landing and staying on the whole ride.
Just found weed in an empty handle. Who knew Capitan Morgan was also a gardener?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Can I send you a picture of my penis? I feel like it looks really good right now and I need someone to share it with
You're the reason I lose Never Have I Ever
Great. I broke up with him before he could like my selfie, now I'm down a like.
You know it's time to call it a night when every guy in the bar (all 3 of them) have seen you naked at one time or another.
If he isn’t into CosPlay he will be after tonight. That naughty nurse outfit heals broken hearts
Dry spell is over and now I’m drowning in a river of dick. The dam broke and now half the dicks in DC are trying get in my skirt
It’s a glorious dick miracle!
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