my ass hurt today after the party last night. I wnt to the doctors and they found a coin in a ziplock bag with a note from you. WHAT THE FUCK DID U DO TO ME???
you had a panic attack, pissed yourself, and started crying. you never go above the kiddie level of my lil bros schools haunted house ever again.
round 2?
EVER.
i DID NOT walk around with my knees bent and my hands behind my back with long spandex and underarmour pretending to be Apollo Ono
I made an oral joke and he laughed... That's when I realized I wasn't Daddy's Little Girl anymore.
So I feel bad, Ross is asking questions, I think they need to know it's a Spanish lesbian bar
Yeah I'm a responsible adult man but I legally unbind myself from anything that occurred that evening and am in no way responsible for those actions.
It's all good. The CSI guy came and I played the theme song while he in was in our place. The cops even laughed.
Someone spilled vodka all over the elevator floor. Bring straws.
Oh dude, thanks for giving me that liquor last night, except replace 'giving' with 'violently forcing'.
Having a midget officiate your wedding because you think it'd be hilarious: good idea or potential lawsuit?
I think i'm going to homewreck at this Disney on Ice show.
I wore a bird inflatable and still got laid. So there's that.
Ran into his sister at the gym and hit it in the parking lot. I dont even feel like a bad friend she got a boob job and lost 20 lbs its not even the same sister
He wanted to watch the vow, cuddle, and not have sex. An upgrade is in order.
ELLEHCIM
NYRMAK
DRAHCIR
WHAT??
Randomize
