2 nights ago she wants to see other people, tonight she wants to have a threesome. The GOOD kind of threesome. So... win?
WORST DINGLEBERRY EVER
i just threw up ON my final. epic way to end the semester.
There's a litter of kittens in my bathtub and beer cans everywhere. I want my apartment key back.
I was just informed that you are the reason for my 2 missing front teeth.
one of them held the wheel while the other one changed her pants. while driving. on the thruway. what
frozen drink friday is suspended until further notice
Congratulations, I drank so much for your birthday that I'm shitting blood.
Yeah, I've been trying to get him to eat healthier. Turns out he'll eat almost any fruit or vegetable as long I let him eat it off my body.
And literally 4loko margaritas are callin my name. They're like "Hey girl come on over here I'll make you forget about grades and boys and it'll be a good idea to send everyone 55 snapchats of your cleavage" ok
You must be buzzed on Miller Lite.. Zen master advice is flowing
Now when you said you'd never sleep with me, did you really mean never on a Monday or never without handcuffs or a blindfold or never on a airplane or never without lots of booze? Cus never is a pretty strong word.
pesky things like morals, self-preservation and cowardice are not needed. overkill is nothing but a word. there will be blood.
I'll tell you that it involved a pair of pliers and a trip to the ER.
I demand a full explanation right now.
u would mumble something and then get unnecessarily loud and say random shit like 'id fuck the shit out of taylor hanson right now'
Randomize
