drink some water, pull the trigger, get a bfast sandwich. Only good things.
Milquetoast, coolest word ever.
Seriously though, we're going to drink and watch Survivor first one to puke gets voted off the island
I've walk of shamed through this apartment complex so many times, I think people think I live here.
I was happy to be the center of attention..until i realized why everyone was staring
some people wear their heart on their sleeve but you just wear your vagina on your face.
I was talking to some girls while you were falling off your bar stool into the person next to you.
You'd be surprised at how many crooked penises are out there
Please tell me you've ingested more than weed and Oreos today
you taught an eight year old how to shotgun a half pint of chocolate milk, that's all i'm saying
Yeah I'm at work. Nothing like the threat of blowing chunks on passing cars to make you feel alive.
On way back. With a shopping cart. Minimal casualties.
She jumped on a table and took off her shirt and started yelling things that no one understood. For being 3, she has a dead on impression of a drunk party girl.
So the doorbell rang while we were banging, and I'm pretty sure the pizza man saw my dick. But hey, we got pizza.
My roommates don't agree with the whole tv in the bathroom idea. Fucking barbarians.
Randomize
