I feel like I am becoming dumber sitting here in class than I would be sitting on the couch smoking weed.
just bought a coffee grinder that advertiesed spacious grinding chamber...new nickname for my bedroom?
my mom just asked me what a queef is. she needs to stop watching south park
im using the astroglide sample u sent me as a bookmark for the book im using to write my midterm paper. i need to get laid. bad.
Just saw two dudes run across the street carrying a mini keg and a scaled model of the empire state building. Missed this town
Actually I think I might be dying right now so if I do you have to drink all my vodka
You're so demanding.
How do I enter a double puke and rally into my calorie counter?
Sex-sore abs and my workout pants have gravel stains on the knees. It's like the workout of shame.
My brother walked up to us as we were making out and was like "hey man, go to town!" and winked
i just got hit on on the bus. Yes sir, because its every boys dream to fuck a forty year old with a face tattoo
Tackling and headbutting friends, running away and hiding from everyone, attempting to streak across campus, and then waking up with no sign of a hangover... happy 21 to me
must go to store soon wiping with panty liner ugh
Guy fieri is speaking only to me. We make eye contact. My whole body is vibrating. My head is purring. I am literally marbles.
Of course I fucked her, her man stole my bike when we were kids
I should not have moved in with him. He's got porn stashed everywhere like a homosexual squirrel.
You love porn!
Not in the sugar bowl when I'm making my Mom coffee I don't.
Randomize
