He came on my face and told me I looked like a gingerbread house.
That taco smell coming from your belly button was a huge turnoff
She volunteers at a homeless shelter. You volunteered to drink 7 day expired milk for $3. No chance. Give up.
She's like a pop up book from hell.
his profile picture is a blurry one of him holding a beer. i recognized him instantly.
how should i feel about a person who brings a box of eggo waffles on the plane as a carry on?
Dude, she literally just asked me if her mac'n'cheese makes me horny. I think I found the one.
She just rubbed her face all over pool chalk. I feel like it's time to go
We spent a good 10 minutes in the morning looking for my clothes. I ended up taking the bus home in my 6inch heels and his baggy t-shirt. The bus was filled with kids... one of them whistled at me.
You should fuck with them and beat off in the cup and then walk out an be like, "This was a sperm donation right?"
May the power of my ass compel you!!
The quality of my porn watching experience has significantly declined. Thanks shattered iphone screen
Did I wash my face last night at your house? Where did my eyebrows go??
every day is bullshit and fuck everyone. That's my motto for the week
I don't want to sleep with any other woman but you but I want to try this whole mother daughter thing that would be nuts
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