i'm laying naked in your bed you should probably come home
move.
I never once brought up his unibrow when he was insulting me. That's class.
you had sex with a 30 year old who doesn't have a cell phone but does have an 8 year old son.
he's 29.
She played chubby bunny with our cocks.. She got 4
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We made a late night liquor run, made margaritas and bloody marys and then retreated to opposite sides of the house to drink them. Alone.
You guys make me sad
You misspelled jealous there
Omg! I'm gonna have a heat stroke. I'm going to collect my sweat and drink it for a buzz and hydration purposes
He was trying to be aggressive in bed, but in reality, it was like watching a declawed cat try to climb a curtain. They WANT it, they just can't DO it.
This is my transition from small talk texts to booty call texts. Coming over?
Quite the smooth talker. There in 5.
No worries. On my way home to get ski poles and wipe the sick off my face. Then it's time to get drunk in the park
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I just commented on the education level of his penis.
And my coffee table looks like something out of Scarface
Just got a 200 dollar safe, two jars, and a 500 pack of rubber bands.. This doesn't SCREAM drug dealer does it?
...you should fill the cart some more
I just took the batteries out of the xbox remote so she could replace the dead ones in her vibrator If that's not love I don't know what is
She said to me, without hesitation, "make me an offer better than my sugar daddy and I'll go with you"
I'm just trying to win a butt plug dude
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