we have officially lost it.
He finally told me that he's married. I guess it doesn't really matter.
The only reason you're wearing underwear tonight is cause you have a family dinner before
I googled "I hate my uterus" just to make sure I wasn't the only one.
The tornado sirens were going off and everyone just ran to the liquor store. .
you do realize that we pretended we were worms for like 10 minutes and inched around on the ground, don't you?
Dude i don't know we had to beg the bouncer to let us in because you were bleeding everywhere and he saw you run into a dumpster
He's socially awkward. He has a big dick. We've had this talk before, they're socially awkward because they don't leave the house they just sit home and play with it.
Dude, you need to man up. You passed out before a PRESEASON game. It's a long season.
She introduced me as that girl Nathan was fingering
You chugged 6 beers in a row and then outed your boss at a party last night.
Some lady found my secret pooping bathroom at work. Do I fight her Highlander style? I made or may not be fashioning a crude sword from seat covers and toilet paper rolls.
Do it. DO IT. There can be only one.
I think I met my butt stuff soulmate
My vagina just clenched in fear
I’d say they were worth it. He screamed “your tits are fanfuckingtastic!”while he was cumming
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