i hate having sex with him only a few drinks in. i like it better when i cant remember the gory details.
i was shrooming and she was sobbing. i was trying to be sympathetic, but i could see the veins working like worms under her skin. and then her face stripped down to the muscle.
what was she crying about?
i wanna say it was the lack of skin on her face but maybe she lost her job.
When my girlfriend drinks sangria it's like winning the vagina lottery
You said you wanted to go to louisiana and get arrested by Steven segal
there is laundry and salad ALL OVER my car, i need context
First of all you can never say anal too much. Second I now think you're a total gentleman.
Rarely has that paragraph ever been put together
How do I feel about a girl who has a g string tattooed on
He is nice. Kind of short though. But didn't try to rub his jean cock on me.
Which I appreciated.
HIS BALLS ARE HEAVEN SENT FROM THE VELVET ANGLES.
I was afraid she wouldn't be able keep up but I woke up in a bathtub, she called me a pussy and made me pancakes.
the only joy I get out of her anymore is hitting on her friends and ignoring her. it's chaos for them. like shaking a slutty ant farm
I love that there are toys on the counter. Coffee, tea, wine bottles, gag ball, and handcuffs.
My kitchen gets me.
You ever feel like just rubbing your face in everything like a dog?
There's a fine line between kinky and serial killer
Got a blowjob while watching James Bond's "Octopussy." My 13 year old self would be so proud
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