If facebook stalking was a job I would totally pown it
I just changed her number in my phone to "You Wouldn't If You were Sober"
the kid next to me in training is drinking sangria. its 9am here in case you couldnt calculate. its going to be a good year.
How creepy of a mustache can you grow by wednesday night?
I know it's not standard practice to meet the couple you donate to, but i'm curious as to what kind of people saw my picture and said, we want that girl's eggs
You wouldn't know anything about the tooth on ice in my freezer would you?
He kept calling my vagina a magic clam, and it was speaking to him, telling him to feed it his penis. I played along.
Europe's "the final countdown" was playing. It was pretty much amnesty for anything that might happen the rest of the night. It's a rule.
casual night just sitting in the kitchen at 2 am eating stale chips and hot sauce while my friends younger sister is cleaning all the blood off my body
Is it counter productive to ride on my exercise bike with a cocktail in hand?
I'm gonna have to kick a girl scouts ass...
Why does your place smell like gin and misery?
I prefer to think of it as 'ode to single life'
Hold on gotta plunge the sink
Is that a euphemism for sex? Either way, have a good time
I cannot pick him out of a line up. I remember he is blonde and his half flaccid dick looks like gonzo. So unless he pulls down his pants I don't know who he is
thanks for letting me have sex in your bed, too bad you didn't get to yet
who are you?
Randomize
