I totally understand Scottish logic. No underwear+skirt=great
it was like she was tryin to eat my face and i was defending myself with my mouth
I'm pretty sure my penis yawned halfway through. That loose.
unrelatedly i think im gonna download boogie nights just to see mark wahlberg's penis
just because she threw up on my junk doesnt mean i dont like asians anymore
Walked by a shop giving away free donuts this morning. Best walk of shame ever
We just ended up getting drunk and doing field sobriety tests on each for practice... No one remembers who passed.
SHE JUST SHOVED MY HAND DOWN HER PANTS AT THE BAR
Don't text me with that hand
My lower body still feels like its been through a garbage disposal and a trash compactor. In that order.
Seriously, I want to give you a plaque thanking you for your dedicated service to my vagina.
please tell me we weren't that bad as freshmen
i can't, we're worse now
it's pretty awkward texting you how much I want to suck your cock when I have my mom on speakerphone.
On my way
honestly my period and I are just as surprised to see each other every month
If you were to to ask if I just hid 4 shooters or Jameson it my bra and panties the anwer would be yes, yes I did
I swear to god, if you ever yell my name during sex with my sister again..your balls will be stapled to your nipples.
Randomize
