Great, now everyone thinks I've had giraffe semen in me
He is the one I "technically" lost my virginity to.
I feel like you never had a virginity..
Drunbk and roasting marshmallows on my stove. Accidentally singed the catr's fur but she'sd alright.
That girl from the bar sent me a text saying that she wants to wear my cock as a hat. A cock hat. Is that good or bad?
Expect nothing less than me teaching them how to do shots and put condoms on
there is vodka in my soul right now. The vapor is coming out my nose.
He started going down on me while we were watching Land Before Time.
Incredible.
my spring break was before theirs and i literally fed him vodka all week, only stopping for class and bowls. like handles. i cant even think anymore, that chastity belt was hard to get off,
and then I partied with my new dealers deaf pit bull. All around a good night I'd say...
how don't worse things happen to you?
That moment when a stripper is the one that makes the two of you have to define the status of your relationship...
Yeah he drove 30 minutes at 3 AM to come fuck me in my neighbors treehouse
Tonight I researched being a phone sex operator and teaching English at a French school in Africa. I think my future lacks direction
So today was the first day i've been sober since Wednesday according to my roommate!
I can’t shake the image of her gigantic black unibrow. It’s like I got a blowie from Eugene Levy
Andddddd I'm drunk
Andddddd it's Tuesday
That's your opinion.
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