Did you fuck her?
If by "fuck her" you mean "threw up on her shoes," then yes, I achieved that.
she looked like she should be chained to micheal vicks radiator
Just drove past a church with a sign near it that said, "God wants to be your daddy."
there were like 150 questions AFTER the application. you'd think for a store that has dick molding kits it'd be a joke
On a scale of one to america, how free are you this weekend?
Just in case you were wondering I sent you a text at 4:37 in the morning because I woke up on the side of the highway at that time
Dude, you sent that text at 9:44 AM. Who thinks of drugs that early?
Made dad pull of the highway twice on the way home so I could puke. Yeah i'd say we ended the semester well.
She said we could only have sex if she got to keep her fake moustache on during
Its okay that he doesn't remember you, he only remembers girls by their boobs and I think you were wearing a jacket
Well anyways I still cant believe I don't remember such a monumental day in history as you showing me your boobs... Jesus
i think i just asked a donut if it was ok
I just puke and rallied at my anniversary dinner #winning
this is the second day the intern has gotten me coffee. he either wants to bang me or thinks I'm more important than I am.
either way he's in for disappointment
MY TITS JUST CAUSED A CAR ACCIDENT ON THE HIGHWAY! i kid you not!! i thinl the giy is actually dead
Randomize
