Billy Mays died!
I know. And the US is beating brazil...what's wrong with the world?
nutella sex= disaster
You were absolutely insistent that the entire bar knew that it was peanut butter jelly time
When you started Hi-fiving people I knew u were fucking gone. You slapped some dude on the shoulder when he wouldn't hi-five you and he asked if he even knew you
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
The straight man in me wants to hit on her. But the gay man in me wants to compliment her on her awesome outfit.
All I know is I woke up next to her beside the toilet
This is breast cancer awareness month... The least we can do is give a stripper some singles.
We are sitting here staring into each others eyes, mutually rubbing forks up and down our respective noses. High as balls doesn't even begin to cover it.
think I signed up for a 5k last night while blackout.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
True love: he brought me a margarita while I was n the shower. He's a keeper.
Well according to all the calls, texts, and Facebook messages, I threw up on you guys last night.
It's been awhile, you pregnant yet?
He also reminds me slightly of a pirate which i find strangely attractive
My ass is in a myriad of pain right now
Lesson learned - Taco Bell before a long night of BDSM is a BAD idea
Omg worst high ever. I'm watching Parks and Rec, and all i can think about is how andy, leslie, and tom are my closest friends. Forever alone.
Randomize