So... how did lowering your standards work out last night?
I did that thing where I cum for no reason again.
I just found a dead bug in my nose. if that's the worst thing up there im considdering myself lucky.
Just assessed the damage in the bath. Two love bites. One bruise on the inner thigh. Strange awareness of what i'm assuming is my cervix. I've definitely missed you. x
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
We're too lazy too send a pic of out balls. Just assume this is a pic of our balls and respond accordingly.
it's ok. you also told me I can feel free to vomit on your blow dryer sometime.
she fascinated with the iron the back of the toilet seat. she made me sit in the bathroom with her for a solid 10 minutes while she just stared and laughed at it
And don't try to lose a condom in me tonight. My vagina is not a storage compartment where you can just leave something and try and use it again later in the week.
if you didn' use the plastic sword on the cop. maybe this wouldn't have happened.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
FACE TIME HER WHILE YOU GUYS BANG
My arrest report says I was found in midtown "performing lewd and lascivious acts on top of art meant for public display and enjoyment".
I didn't think it was possible but he dislocated his thumb during intercourse last night then cried
My dreams last night were filled with sex and quidditch.
Abby there's no shame in reading porn. It takes more work than watching I suppose
You set a couch on fire in my brothers backyard?
Just the cushions
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