JOSHUA! WE ARE SO BREAKING UP!
what?
YOU'RE DRUNK AGAIN, ARENT YOU?!
At what point did I decide it would be a good idea to fill my contact case with vodka
theres no cameras in the kitchen right? cause i dont wana get fired for peeing in the kitchen in a cup
My scrabble letters just formed failure. Thanks God.
could you please explain to me why my jumper cables are on my bedroom floor?
Want to get high and go thrifting? I'm trying to succeed making my dorm look like a deranged Applebees.
I want to throw pennies on her stage, or just ripping up a dollor bill and throw them one at a time.
you puked in the bathtub and said "let them pee"
I think the guy I was trying to dance with was an undercover cop...
i'm about to be the still-drunkest person on the ellipticals
the only thing you said was do the helicopter dick
I need more than 2 fuckable people this is an outrage
Listen, some people have dreams, some people just want to cock slap a kangaroo
Just learned that the cute guy I've been flirting with at the beach this whole time is actually an inmate working in the community instead of being in prison.. My life is unreal
So he has moved up to a stage 5 clinger...Surprised he didn't try to lure you into bed with tacos, like he did last time
Yeah... akward. I don't want a round 2
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