thanks...oh and i got my period
told you
oh hush
so then she threw up in his asshole
yep..that'll do it.
two more shots til everyone in this club gets to see my cesarean scars.
My roommate found me crawling down the hallway as she was on her way to her morning class. Its time for a new semester.
I don't know if this beer pong partnership can last if you refuse to look me in the eye when we make sweet sweet clutch cup at the same time.
i know im back at school when i can poke any random spot on my body and expect a 80% chance that theres a bruise there
Seriously man, I'm worried that my dick's going to fall off someday if I keep this up...
WHY AM I BEING COCKBLOCKED BY A KID PLAYING HAVA NAGILA ON THE SAXAPHONE
She broke both of her ankles trying to jump off the balcony. it's like every time she drinks she makes even more impressively bad decisions than the last time
Make this decision based on your love for dick - NOT based on the fact that its probably one of the worst things you've ever thought of doing
it was like lady and the tramp only with a jello shot on the pool table
Bring scissors.....i think im gonna have to be cut out of this damn jockstrap
Hung over and there is no way in the world I can make this mess look good today. Only solution is to stay drunk.
i was thinking shit as she was saying it. it was a sarcasm time loop
Next time I think it’s a good idea to hook up with any of your wife’s family members or friends just kick me in my dick
Randomize
