Things overheard in WeHo: "Just drink a corona and eat some ass, you won't be hungry anymore"
i just found a bag of weed behind my capital one card. i guess that's what's in my wallet.
We're talking about addictions in class and there's a girl 2 rows in front of me on Farmville. Hello, example.
She was narrarating everything she did.. like while making toast.
Just so we're on the same page, we cannot have been the first people to have ever thought about shooting that guy with crossbow
All you have to drink is moonshine and ranch. This is bullshit.
Dude that bathroom stall was not tall enough to be doing lines in, guys kept peeking over and giving us high fives
I make your heart skip a beat like that pivotal moment when you open a public toilet lid
I have her designated blowjob hair tie on my wrist. It's like a key to eternal happiness
I tried to get you something for Valentine's Day too but they said they couldn't deliver skittles and ecstasy :(
That commercial was clearly aspirational. I think Arbor Mist would pair nicely with Oscar Meyer
I asked the full emergency room who else was there because of homecoming and every single person raised their hand
Just cried watching Wimbledon, worst comedown ever.
So apparently Facebook just randomly finds the girl who gave me a hard handy despite having no mutual friends...
slept with a 6'5 mountain man from Montana and then he played 'Girls Just Wanna Have Fun' on repeat..
Randomize
