so she asking me "is it okay to have dangling labias?"
I went down on her for at least a half hour, She loved it, so I thought she'd recip. She said "I only do that if I know I'm getting something out of it."
SHUT IT DOWN.
take it from a girl who woke up with a girl in her bed... you were not that drunk.
[insert really romantic bullshit about how much i love you and how beautiful you are so you will suck my dick tonight]
It could have went better. They kicked us out of the casino and I drunkenly whipped her across the face with a fishing pole. Long story.
my tonsil wound opened up during the kegstand but i stopped it with a popsicle
Uh yeah. I ate a brick of cheese. Didn't even cut it. We were admiring the teeth marks I was leaving. We decided it was the negative of my mouth
my vagina is starting to think like a penis, and I'm not even slightly worried
I woke up and found a stick of butter in my pocket. There's no butter in the house so I don't know who's it is. Using it to make cookies.
He had a drawn-on fu manchu and now my vagina has one too.
I have a boner in one of my pics with her which no one noticed.
Heeyy... sorry I got so drunk. You probably don't ever want to see me again. Thank you for dealing with me when I tried to jump over the deli counter for some mayonnaise.
He's UNCIRCUMCISED. And it curves. Two things I've never encountered in all my sluttiness and they're both on the hottest guy alive. :(
Dude on the shuttle bus eating a Butterfinger and watch porn on his phone and doesn’t give a fuck who knows
We need to get on his level
From now on I'd like to be known as Rampage.
Randomize
