He's married, but his wife isn't my neighbor so I don't feel bad about coveting him.
No offense but you kinda look like a Jack Johnson fan in that pic
i've got to stop sleeping with short guys. they always turn into stage 5 clingers
But it was well worth it to see a man fly through the air in a beaver costume...
Dude, if she brings up the lube, you know nothing
I drunkenly asked a stripper to join our volleyball team.
We are probably going to have to use your boobs as currency to get this done
He has to watch his girlfriends kitten. Even when she is in Vegas, her pussy keeps him from getting into mine.
Well pretty sure I lost 3 of my best friends in one week. Remember when I said I wasn't sure if I was gonna be a better person or a more despicable one in 2012. Despicable wins.
Girl we've come a long way since our first Brazilian wax
bro, your right, i shouldn't feel embarrassed about taking shots from a penis-shaped ice sculpture
I know that we've never been that tight but I want you to meet my cat before I move.
I THINK it was the lead singer. Whoever he was, I have his number and his dick was pierced.
It was totally the lead singer.
I just watched an old episode of Daria while eating brownies to cure day drunkness. Clearly I'm winning at adulting today.
Congratulations! We have a period
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