I came back to the apartment and he was waiting for me, covered in mustard.
needless to say I left
my ass just sighed. even my farts are tired.
So guy #2, the dancer, is programmed into my phone under the name H.uy. His number- 11 digits. I should have stopped drinking.
I wonder if Barack Obama has ever been this drunk.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
When he came he kept saying "oh god oh god" and he sounded just like his dad. awkward...
super high. so of course there was a shoot out at the bank. there are 20 cop cars no lie. if i make it out of this i will never smoke again
I need to sleep with 3 more guys by midnight to meet my 2010 resolution..
I know this is random but to this day I regret not having sex with you on that atv on the top of that mountain underneath the American flag.
Survival tip #3: while you're hooking up with him, don't say he reminds you of his brother
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
After i finished him. He goes "youre a champion"... Then whispers "forever"
After seeing all of the pics during the trial, all I could think was "her vagina doesn't look THAT dangerous"
Um, would you be up for dick jousting? Stefanie is willing to pay 40 bucks.
I'm not saying I haven't been that drunk. I'm just saying I haven't been that drunk and then have cops buy me shots.
If that orgasm indicates how the rest of the year is going to go, I need to buy rain boots.
We had an argument over whether or not she had super strength. She settled it by dragging me to the bed room and throwing me on the bed. Then forcefully fucking me. She won the argument.
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