i just walked outside for a cigarette and three men walked by in glitter heels and gold shiny thongs. god i love chicago
What are you doing tonight?
Watching dora the explorer and pining for a sex life.
woke up next to her writing my name in some journal. apparently she makes every guy she hooks up with sign out.
Can you explain to me the broken disco ball in my front yard?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
frozen drink friday is suspended until further notice
I woke up to his gay cousin telling me I had the prettiest boobs. I don't even wanna know.
New hot neighbor boys moving in across from us...So i did the logical thing and bought two 30 packs up the hill and walked right by em. Consider the line hooked and ready to reel.
Got home to the hotel 3hrs ago per texts sent not in english to not a full phone number
I think you're my mermaid sister. Separated at birth, by sea.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
while i am personally glad that we met...i feel like for society as a whole it was a bad thing
Please come over here so I can show off my beard, talk to you about how quantum computing is actually a symptom of interstellar physics, and then put my head under your dress
I'm trying to find some better sex background music so his neighbors don't hate us. This is tedious.
So you broke your ribs while fucking? Dude you just got about 25% hotter.
Omg dude take a shower. You'll feel like god washed away all the sinful shit we did last night.
Get to the bar now. Ryan is single again and every skank on campus that has heard story about his dick is circling like a shark. A cock hungry shark
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