so i did it. i barked while i was ejaculating. not a word was said by either of us afterwards.
so how much did i say i owed you?
$5 and a new fuck buddy.
My toast was "here's to being positive, and testing negative... Cheers!"... after that chick gagged on her shot, everyone knew.... slut.
They still haven't come up with a cure for a hangover; good luck cancer.
I'm not giving my ex her earrings back. If some chick i hated gave me brownies i would still eat them. It's the same thing.
Ya bro it was wild. Hey, is latex digestible?
I still love him regardless of his misguided forays into heterosexuality
I really wanna know when trying to grow up turned into try not to throw up.
The money is just too good to quit doing it. I'm using the same justification strippers use.
At one point they were sandwiching me, both petting my stomach, mad dogging each other. Then they somehow telepathically decided to both try to pull my pants down. Such nice guys.
Im going to bed. I'm seeing 7 of everything and my world smells like gravy
Sorry, but when you makeout with a guy in a panda suit, you know something has to change.
Just blowing bubbles with my nipple rings in my shower.
You always make things weird.
I found a used condom and a hairbrush in my dryer this morning.
Hiring someone to do your laundry would be a good investment.
I forgot that I'm high because of how high I am.
Dude, what the hell where you thinking last night
Welllllll basically they were like "challenge" and I was like "accepted"
Randomize
