i just sat at a stop sign for 10 minutes waiting for it to turn green. i need to STOP SMOKING THIS SHIT.
I'm at a job interview and I smoked a little before I came. I thought it would make me less nervous. Boy was I wrong.
remember about an hour ago when i told you i was never drinking again? i may or may not be mixing malibu with caprisun. just saying.
omg a stripper jus od'd on stage.
My history teacher just took his shirt off cuz the classroom was to hot. And then he invited us all to join him.
you looked up at me mid puke with tears in your eyes and asked to make sure no one took your turn at Wii
we bought a duck. we're keeping him in our dorm room. don't ever try to tell me you've had a better freshman year than me.
Please come fuck me. I had the worst sex of my life the other night and I need to be reminded that sex is actually enjoyable
True. I'd rather snort cocaine off a homeless guy then work on the weekend...Actually that may not be that bad.
It's just one of those days where I'm too horny to function, to be perfectly honest.
Smoked before work and just remembered i left pringles in my desk last time i was high. SCORE
Just did a "spirit of homecoming" bump off a stranger's credit card. A stranger that dropped us off at home. Erica's bad. How do allllll of the Eastern Europeans know how to find drugs so easily?!?
Not too bad but came home early cuz business was shut down due to an employee sexually harrassing the inspector
i’m just listening to christina aguilera’s “your body” on repeat and trying not to pass out at my desk.
I just lectured my ex boyfriend on how to eat a girl out what has my life come to
Randomize
