What do you think that old couple was thinking when they saw me puking in the QT parking lot at ten in the morning?
chipotle is closed for thanksgiving... I am officially thankful for NOTHING.
dude thats like the second time shes peed on the couch at a party. we cant invite her anymore
you're acting like its my fault you're allergic to sperm or something.
i told you we never speak of that again
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
it's all just a bunch of faces and i remember what the floor looked like.
dizzyuy bat. 3.453 lkos. hoit sx, now im single. blackouteed
We both paused during sex to do the clap during the Friends theme song. Soulmates.
It's 9am. I'm four lines ahead of you already. Wake up.
I've literally already typed in by booty call text for friday night. all I have to do now is wait for is drunk me to press send
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
somehow this went from sexting to explaining my eating disorder.
My girlfriend is pregnant with her exs baby. 2014 just became the worst year
He was semi blacked out in the hallway with a bucket, calling for me while I had sex with his best friend in the very next room. Why do you let me do these things?
THERE ARE LEGITLY 4 SEPARATE BITE MARKS ON MY DICK. WHAT. THE. FUCK.
Legitimately*
Go fuck yourself
He stole one of my good bras again. If I'm not getting laid I'm not putting with this shit. Also it's a walk of shame for you today, my car is suicidal again.
After 25 beers and 3 shots my best friend thought it would be an amazing idea to get his dick pierced. We are on our way.
Randomize