umm..so Dad's wearing a thong, I don't know what to do
put a dollar in it?
Dude, I would hit that so hard that whoever could pull me out would become the king of England
'fingered' and 'feelings' NEVER belong in the same sentence.
Nope, didn't see her. We left when you told us you were going to make the " big beef burrito supreme" even more supreme and you took your dick out.
So stoned I forgot I was masturbating and went to go get a cookie.
You answered the door when the cops arrived with a beer in one hand and a pillowcase over your head yelling "GAGA, OOH LA LA!"
Thanks for not cleaning the drain like you were supposed to. I just vomited in the shower and I had to stand in it until I was done conditioning.
She agreed that we could have sex whenever I wanted and I could let someone else meet my mom.
I've decided to be proactive and make a sex playlist on my phone to avoid any awkward moments in my upcoming slutty summer
i'm not sure when i reached "slam my own hand in the door" status but my half attached fingernail is not grateful.
he got all sad that i was going to fuck his roommate, so i just asked him if it would make him feel better if I let him motor boat me. i am such a saint.
My dream date: Hotdogs/nachos from the bar & tequila. Is that too much to ask?
I'm allotting you four buildings to piss on tonight. Choose wisely.
So being hungover in an office full of people with hangovers for 9 hours is quite possibly what hell will be like.
Bro I rebuilt the dungeon in animal crossing visit me
Broooo
Randomize
