You know how britney does the hair flip too much in her new videos? Thats me right now
On a scale from 0 to 24...wait, 3 to 24, where 6 is the lowest and 12 is the highest, how freaking high re you right now?
I'm not looking forward to the waking up early part. Or actually the wedding part. Or the reception part. But I am looking forward to the meaningless sex with some random guy I meet at the reception part.
I found a pair of size 15 female undies on my floor?? is that big?
When i tried to give you something that wasn't tequila...like water....you kept saying it was against your religion.
I've always been the spiritual type.
there is just no excuse for touching your mothers vagina.
I woke up on a futon in some strangers house. They were eating pizza and told me everything was going to be fine.
i'm sitting in the second floor bathroom drinking coronas in the shower. do not find me.
We all told you to throw up but you just stuck your head in the toilet and screamed..
I wish Samuel L. Jackson would narrate our bar crawls
Just had to masturbate in the bathroom because mom changed my room into a "knitting" room. I hate coming home.
And. I know i am a gay man cause when i saw the pic of his cock his feet were in it and i am like what the fuck?
Let's go dancing. I wanna sprain an ankle. And a labia. My labia or yours. I'm not picky.
So what are you going to be for halloween?
A woman sitting on her couch watching Hocus Pocus.
IDK I WAS CAUGHT UP IN THE TEQUILA SHOTS AND FRIENDSHIP
Randomize
