i hate sounding clingy, but i just wanted to verify i wasn't an asshole in your mind
we need blinds so i can safely watch porn during the day
Im doing kagels to the beat of Christmas music... "Jingle Bells" is hard. Try it.
I slept with some guy because he drew a dinosaur on my arm
Worst part of St. Paddy's...me drunkenly crying to a U2 cover band.
Also just realized how inappropriate it looks to other drivers to finish bottles of cheap champagne at stoplights
It's like the only way I know how to apologize is by giving a blow job.
You remember those guys we called the police on after they stole our keg? Turns out one of them is a student instructor in one of my classes. Figuring out how best to use this information.
I could really do without pictures of your asses in my inbox. That said, I'm extremely jealous that I wasn't involved.
His ass WILL be my cock's next vacation home.
I wish I had a dick so I could say shit like that.
In the store looking for it now. They put the theatre/script section right next to the gay erotica section. Rude. Practical, but rude.
I have a boner in one of my pics with her which no one noticed.
You were yelling at a tree saying it should be in the forest..
Don't judge me.
I've finally become one of those chicks with a taco in her purse.
Sex. Target parking lot. I really am the mayor.
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