alcohol turns me into mario batali of easy mac
Dude..masurbate with cocoa butter lotion..its like cocoa pebbles just gave me a hand job
After we hooked up, he left the room and no one has seen him since last night. That kid redefined hit it and quit it.
I am 100% positive that I have seen a porno that was shot in this bar.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Yessssssssss. I got taped to a couch last night apparently. I also thought i was close to scoring after talking to some chick about hard boiled eggs
Horrible. I told her my girlfriend is in the hospital and she tried to give me a lapdance.
I'm never drinking with you again. I woke up in Midtown with a 7' tall Norwegian rugby player named Lexie. Never. Again.
I just quit my job so I could get dick this weekend. I'm pretty sure my need for dick is much more important than the customers' needs.
Sounds like she has 4 first names. Like a sad version of Ricky bobby
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Sloppy and selfish. Your 27 and you don't know where my clit is? BYEEE
He asked me the next morning if he fell asleep inside of me. Drunk is an understatement.
You said you were going to start drinking less. Drinking 25 small airplane bottle shots do not count.
Fyi, shaking your genitals at me doesn't count as "trying to have sex".
Can we be gay Bert and Ernie for Halloween?
I cannot believe I accepted his penis into my body.
Randomize