So I had sex in the woods... it was just as dirty as you'd expect it would be.. and not in a good way.
1. Call me if you need ANYTHING. 2. If you get tag teamed, I want details.
You finger a girl once and she thinks she loves you. I'm going back to boys. Lesbians are needy.
I just found a bottle of gin in my vegetable crisper. Party is back on.
I think online classes were designed around the concept of day drinking.
I'm going to get pregnant and die... Mean Girls warned me about this but I didn't listen
You just sent me a picture of a federal crime. Like. You don't give a fuck.
I know I've wanted to fuck him for the past month, but when you're that hungover, the only chemistry you have is with a pillow and a gallon of water.
We need to get stoned and watch Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles 2. This has become a priority. Schedule accordingly.
You might have been able to redeem yourself had you not referred to grandma as "this bitch".
That explains the hand print on my face. That old lady knows how to throw a punch.
If I could run through a field of Reece's and Oreos, dive off a milkfall into a bowl of cereal. My Life would complete.
I finally had to say "that's the hole where I pee" for him to understand.
Possibly threw up in my purse last night. Still suspicious of of all actions
What can i say, my face is nice and my body is just unreal. And my beer pouring/stealing is incredible \n
He was fingering me and I came so hard that I actually broke his wrist. We're at the ER now.
Randomize
