so I was thinking like, Rob Pattinson could make so much money whoring himself out dressed as Edward Cullen.
yeah, I mean if he's down to fuck a lot of fat chicks and stare at Tiger Beat posters of himself above the bed...
Random 1st period thought: do you think she could put "had a threesome" on her resume?
Weirdest conversation with my dad. He just told me he didn't shave his pubes.
i just found my sim card.....i hid it in my tylenol bottle....i guess to ensure i would find it mid-hangover
You and I should start a club for people who woke up on outside on a bench with no idea how they got there.
What kind of flower means "I want to have unprotected sex with you, preferably from behind?" because thats the message I'd really like to send on Valentines Day
I accidentally requested the ides of march off instead of st patricks day. Is this an omen? will alcohol be my brutus?
At some point we were all eating banana flavored rolling papers.
we've had our differences but let's set them aside, go home and fuck
I've got to admit, I'm a little hesitant about giving him road head. I've seen how he drives and I've seen how he acts when I give him head. A small part of me is saying this is going to end badly.
I showed my cat the amount of coke I had. She looked concerned.
Last time I checked he was house sitting for his ex while she was out of town with some new dude. He was crying about how the guy told him to stay out of his whiskey while he was gone. That's whipped
i had every intention of working out now im just drinking wine and thinking about taking nudes in my thigh high tube socks
I just made out with his twin, technically it's the same person..... Right?
You took your pants and underwear off as soon as we got to Melissa's and just walked around the entire time like it was completely normal. We even ate pizza together with your vagina exposed. You're my hero.
Randomize
