So I'm sober and underage, being hit on by a groom-to-be with braces...is it a bad thing that I'm enjoying it?
I thouht it was time to go to sleep and suddenly I was front row on brokeback mountain
i deep throated a ruler to see what my limit was...
I am totally the chick from Intervention who barfs up wine and then re-eats it.
This went bad. Everyone is crying, i dont know why and I am really uncomfortable.
You walked in with a firecracker and a doughnut then demonstrated what a lazy job he did fucking you
Dnt forget 40 tuesday,dress nice! Like job interview nice, like funeral nice, like a couple muhfuckas sittin on their lawn drinkin forties on a tuesday nice!
We were high as shit. We argued for like ten minutes about going to Dunkin Donuts and then just ended up rolling down hills. Thanks for the weed.
You sent me a cat video and you screaming drunkenly in my background
She called to say the cops were not fake cops. some one has to go get her in an hour
So I couldn't find Leif..... He fell asleep in our closet upstairs trying to get changed into warmer clothes
i'm gonna crowd surf you onto his dick
Update: I just threw up in between cars in the parking lot of magic kingdom.
I just texted him from the other room to come have sex with me-stress relieved
You are such a millennial
I have blood and BBQ sauce all over my shirt. I blame you for the blood.
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