So I got hit on by a gay guy. It might have something to do with the fact that I licked his nose.
And why did you do that?
Tequila
I realize now. I should have just made out with everyone and anyone when I had the chance.
hey, i'm all for honesty but let's not get carried away
He managed to completely creep out every girl I was with last night. It was almost inspiring how efficient it was.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
judging from the lines on my body they wheeled me back in a shopping cart
how did we start talking about space blow jobs?
Currently shopping online for cardboard cutouts of various horror characters. That should teach me roommates to stop taking acid on Tuesdays.
We're like Siamese twins, but joined at the genitals.
I've been called an asshole for a lot of things in my life, but I never thought it would be because of potatoes
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just baby talked my cat. While getting ready for bed... Before 10 on a Friday. I'm officially a cat lady.
You must be buzzed on Miller Lite.. Zen master advice is flowing
She's currently doing somersaults across the kitchen floor without underwear on. We may not make it to the bar.
I was told I look like trouble once and that was by a fireman at the sex show. I was carrying two beers and a penis pinata.
last time we tried to watch a movie together, we ended up having really aggressive sex. during the Lion King. so what Disney classic will we be ruining this time?
Cancel your plans for the fourth someone is streaming iron chef on twitch
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