Regardless thnx for trying to help out, I realize we are dealing w/ very stupid girls here
I didn't think it was possible for the human body to be physically dependant on weed until I moved in with this kid
My family just suggested tequila shots. I had Vietnam style flashbacks.
sooo my mom just yelled up the stairs " you left your bowl down by the computer"....aaand for a second I forgot cereal bowls still existed
The movie was so bad she gave me two blowjobs. Two.
Drunk tip #47: Its better to overestimate how many plastic bottles itll take to urinate in, rather then underestimate.
I'm pretty sure he's lost all respect for me. it probably happened somewhere around the time i had officially slept with every single one of his friends..
then he tried to convert me to islam
work has become about six times more interesting since i started fucking my boss.
I had sex with a Dutch boy on a rock last night. Happy graduation! x x
why is there a chinchilla in our apartment, and where did it come from?
question nothing. DON'T QUESTION A FREE CHINCHILLA.
An orgasm and grocery shopping is the appropriate start to every Monday.
I'm pretty sure the rest of my evening will consist of masturbating, drinking tequila and watching children's movies.
My liver can't handle being unemployed!
Drunk me is having trouble keeping up with sober me's standards
Randomize
