Yeah I gave the girl a dirty look. And only a three dollar tip.
i was so high last night while i was driving i felt like i was riding a bike with no pedals
honestly if we didnt hate the same people we would have a friendship based on nothing
I just walked in on my dad looking at porn. is there protocol for this?
So after the reception we snuck back into the church for drunken hook up. we passed out there and woke up in time for 6am mass still dressed from the wedding. spiritually trashy or classy?
When he came he sounded like a flock of birds hitting puberty
When sleeping with someone new: should you hide the magnum condoms, or let him know what he has to live up to?
You should never talk to him again. Unless its you knocking on the door and punching his dick.
Why is Kyle using one of my nieces as a blunt object to provoke and attack my other niece?
You yelled "hold my dick" before you tackled the guy away from the dj and two random girls moved to actually hold it, then argued about it. I want that whore aura!
I also think about what hot dudes penises are gonna look like when theyre 80 and it's not pretty
I was trying to fart in my sleep in the hopes that he would leave
We were going to play manhunt in a strip club, calling it mancunt.
Did we actually play with swords last night or did I dream that?
Guy just walked into the bathroom with only socks on and took a 5second shit. It is taking me longer to type this than for him to shit, wash hands, and leave the bathroom. WTF? Still wondering why he only had socks on.
Randomize
