And she was only 16?
You say that like it's a bad thing.
I think i found my new favorite workout. Go to a party where you dont know anybody and constantly walk around the house so you dont look awkward standing alone. im up to 1.8 miles
having sex with you is like teaching a dog to tango, it DOESN'T work
I feel like she's the kind of girl who always ends up with guys who have oddly shaped dicks..
Just did a kegstand with my dad. Happy fathers day.
I wonder if I could sublet my bathtub to anyone.
drove into oncoming traffic. add a minute to my ETA
I may or may not have just sent the bartender a pic of me in my slutty cheerleader costume with the caption "rah rah ree, gimme yo d"
I've reached the gravitational age where it's very hard to get my face and my boobs in the same shot without some kind of yoga involved .
Nothing like snapchatring dick pics to a\nMarried woman while your girlfriend destroys Taco Bell in the next room. Almost caught, worth it. Got boobs back
You wanted to go find him and we told you to sit down cause you kept stumbling. You yelled " I CAN STAND!! It's the walking part I can't figure out!"
I lowered my expectations when he started off saying "ah missionary, my specialty"
we were having a conversation about big dicks and the chick at the table beside us turned to us said "me and my boyfriend just broke up a few days ago. Could you please NOT talk about big dicks"
I've given up on the male species, I'm just going to be a lonely whore for the rest of my life.
I'm not sure of this happened or if it was just a dream... But I vividly remember you walking down the street naked?
No actually I had socks on...
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