We should go out drinking together soon
I'm still not going to have sex with you
bahahahaha i would laugh soo hard if someone did this for me hahahaha this guy would become my best friend
I fell off the front porch last night. Actually.. I dove. I dove off the front porch.
I only knew it was midnight because i got happy new years texts while i puked outside
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Well that wasnt the exboyfriend i expected to hook up with today
Literally passed out while tubing... Boating while hammered is a blast but thank God for life jackets
She said I came to for a minute, shouted IHOP!! and then shook my head and said no before passing out again
I was in my bathroom taking a shit and my mom just opened the door, walked in, handed me a fudgesicle, and left without saying a word. Yeah. That just happened.
I feel like if Miami and New Jersey fucked each other and produced a baby that would summarize the bar I'm in.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Didn't know hookah bars could end badly. I feel for her hair
I was puking in the bathroom when my fake tooth fell off of my retainer so I just walked out of the bar and didn't say goodbye to my date
Its like I've been given a sexual blank check.
Cheers to being single today. There's an entire box of franzia with my name on it.
My mom just said we can't get married in nude body suits to look like earthworms. She's ruining my life.
The gift for sixth anniversary is steel. He bought me handcuffs. Inee I married the right man!
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