My parents took my cat for a ride in the car. Second weekend in a row. They think its fun. Dear God
last night i found where hot topic managers go to die after they get fired.
The new Black Eyed Peas song is the stupidest shit I've heard since the last Black Eyed Peas song.
We just stood on the porch wondering how you managed to puke up a whole piece of bologna
You should have been there. We got drunk and threw a sword through his windshield.
I've been watching anime, masturbating and eating nutella for three days. I hope she never comes back.
I swiped a lunchable and a gatorade from my one night stand's fridge, does it count as a date now since a meal was included?
I just put up a picture on my dorm room wall of that ginger you hooked up with to remind myself that everyone makes mistakes
I dont know if this is a good time to tell you but im actually a freshman.. not a senior
He made the Waffle House lady get me out of the car. This isn't a joke.
walked into my roommates bathroom to her throwing up a quesadilla while singing come on skinny taco
Congrats you've received dick pics from an Olympic silver medalist
He texted me "sup", so I sent him that gif of the surprised guy and apparently it offended him
yeah, but I wanna be the girl that makes him realize he's 100% gay
he's drunk and referred to his shoes as foot condoms
Randomize
