Hahahhahaha! Oooh get it! Ugh I am so dead but if I go to the lib whuich I will hopefully b havung sex instead, ill hit u up
called my therapist. she asked if I was sad bc of m.j.'s death. are ppl that pathetic?
you need more empathy. some people get depressed for reasons OTHER than being a whore.
You came into my room at 3am.. drunk.. and asked to do spanish homework together. Props for being a good student.
We need to get her some penis inspired head protection.
theres so much semen in my vacuum cleaner...
He poured syrup on all those broken dishes because "syrup is magical, and by the time we wake up, they'll be fixed."
and you think what you did last night was bad? at least you didnt go wake up a sleeping guy for birthday sex.
we are both sitting on my bed desperately refreshing the order tracking page for dominos.
well, duh, but it's like you don't even want to see me masturbate with a wine bottle.
Because at some point last night we decided that shotgunning beers from a paint stick was a good idea
Used my brand new sperrys as a trash can to throw up in and woke up with someone's random key in my hair...new year new me:)
Just sitting at dinner with my dad...simultaneously texting "daddy" to confirm saturday's spanking and telling another guy to get condoms before Im done with dinner. Don't know when I got so ate up but I'm loving it. You?
Regretting asking you what you were doing.
"fuck it, let's do moonshine" shouldn't be in ANYONE'S vocabulary.
I texted him back and I am so nervous I may vomit up all of the soup I just ate.
I just came in my own mouth don't ask me how cuz it really hurt and felt good at the same time.
Randomize
